The Reflection of a King

"I thought I’d find Jesus in a Church.

I thought I’d meet him dressed in robes of white, as the old accordion creaked out a wedding melody.

I thought I’d see Him bathed in multicoloured streams of kaleidoscopic rays of light, as the sun ran in to meet its Maker through the stained glass windows.

I thought I’d be surrounded by family, holding hymn books and dog-eared Bibles. 

I thought that when I finally saw the Son of Man, I’d catch a glimpse of everything that I could be,

And it would all be good and I would be okay. 

But I found Jesus on the streets.

He found me, dressed in robes dyed in the darkest shade of black, as the sound of an untuned guitar heaved out a wearisome solo. 

I saw Him through a reflection in a puddle of blood mixed with water near a sewer drain. 

Surrounded by many who hated me more than I did myself, I left their company to catch a clearer glimpse of a sight that my drunken eyes could not conjure on their own.

When I finally saw Him in the bloody reflection, I saw everything that I was, 

And none of it was good and I wasn’t okay. 

I could not find Jesus in many churches.

I searched for Him in several Church buildings that served as monuments to the sky, as the sounds of drums, guitars, keyboards and overpowering choirs drowned out my frenzied cries for the Man in the reflection.

I sat with men who claimed to know where He was but was led to more monuments, study Bibles, theological division, and more empty rooms instead.

Surrounded by a lost flock that all sought after Him, I left these buildings to wander to the dark alleys from whence I came.

As my grief at His absence led me in search of a drink,

None of this was good and I wasn't okay.

I saw Jesus in a Bar, 

In between men wearing leather jackets, as the sounds of EDM drowned out the noises in their heads. 

I saw Him through a yellow reflection in a puddle of spilt beer on the ground. 

I saw Him near a woman dancing numbly to a song she knew by heart and hated every time she heard it, as wolves circled her. 

When her gaze finally landed on Him, she froze, as the music around her faded away.

Without hesitation, she left her drink behind and walked away to pursue all that was good,

And I knew she’d be okay. 

I saw Jesus at the abortion clinic. 

Through the angry crowd of young couples and angry protestors screaming at each other, while the calming sound of lobby music and beeping ECGs rivalled their raised voices.

I saw Him through the glass of its entry door that opened only one way,

Next to a woman who was not coming in, but was standing outside shivering, while holding her stomach. 

When she saw Him, she burst into tears as if she had seen a vision of everything that her child could be,

And it must have been good because she turned around and walked away,

And I knew they'd be okay.

I saw Jesus attend the birthday of an orphan He loved. 

Amongst a group of beggars who were surrounding a smiling child holding a half-eaten cupcake, while the sounds of traffic sang the little one his birthday song. 

I saw Him, through the partially lowered window of my car. 

Holding onto the shoulders of a child wearing a sackcloth and kissing his head. 

When I saw Him, I saw everything that my birthdays had never been. 

None of them were as good, and without Him, I was never okay. 

I saw Jesus at a funeral. 

Standing next to my grandfather, whom He was helping out of his closed casket, as the sombre sounds of mourning synced with heaven’s choir celebrating a soul coming home. 

I saw Him, through the blurry curtain of tears covering my sight. 

Helping a man I loved enter a rest I do not yet have. 

When I saw Him, I saw Him escort my kind grandfather to a place I cannot yet go, 

But even the blurry sight of it was glorious, and I knew that if I go there, I think I’ll finally be okay. 

I saw Jesus at the side of a bed. 

Standing next to my future wife as she prayed for me to be okay, as the sounds of birds awoke the sun. 

I saw Him through a dream that pointed to a time not far away,

As He heard the tearful requests of the woman I am going to love. 

When she said Amen, He turned to me and smiled,

And slipped away in the bittersweet orange haze of a dream fleeing remembrance.

Her prayers must have been good because that morning, I felt okay.

I saw Jesus at a playground. 

Playing with my future children, as the sounds of their laugh turned every frown within a mile upside down.

I saw Him through the handprint-stained glass of their classroom window. 

Lifting up my kids whom I should have never put down. 

And when one of them fell off a slide and burst into tears, 

Though she was in pain, with Him, they’ll always be okay. 

I saw Jesus at a hospital,

Standing by my bedside, as the sounds of my heartbeat dancing through its final rhythms filled the room. 

I felt Him standing near my face, His warm breath upon my forehead, as I caught a glimpse of Him standing over me in a mirror nearby,

He comforted me about how I have fought hard for peace, and now He is mine to keep.

And as I felt my short life come to an end as fear gripped my icy veins, 

I caught one last look at the Reflection of a King and after a moment that felt like mortality's final embrace,

I was okay."